Portland, OR -- When John Doyle of No Fish, Go Fish in Portland, Oregon (SW 5th and Yamhill) takes your order, he's gonna offer you samples. So will Chef Dwayne Sutton of The Gourmet Shack (SW 5th Avenue between Oak and Stark). In fact, if you're lucky, maybe Chef Dwayne will give you a whole damn delicious bottle of his Ghetto Gourmet barbecue sauce. When was the last time that happened at Burger King? Huh? Or McDonald's? Or Arby's? Or Applebee's? Exactly. It never has. It never will.

And, of course, you'll never get John's Soup of the Gods at any of these places, either. Soup of the Gods does not come frozen in vats. It is freshly made. By John. Yellow Split Pea. Cream of Zucchini. The mysterious virility elixir known as Soup 100. Truly heavenly soups one and all. Add a couple of John's unique fish-shaped sandwiches at a $1.00 per, and you're good to go.

But, you're good to go wherever you roam in Portland's vast global village of food carts. Crepes. Barbecue. Indian food. Czech/Polish. Mexican. Thai. Chinese. German. Middle-Eastern. Vietnamese. Amurican. With a dense population of carts liberally sprinkled around downtown, there's a good chance that at any given moment there's one within walking distance.

So help me, I wanted to try them all. But, I've left that up to you. Do the walking tour. Stroll around to each and every one and buy something. For less than $5.00, you'll get a giant, delicious meal. For $20, spread over multiple carts, you'll induce a food coma and have leftovers for days.

These carts sell the best fast food around. But, hang on. It's an insult to lump No Fish, Go Fish and The Gourmet Shack with the burger assembly lines. John and Chef Dwayne serve fresh, tasty, speedy, hand-crafted food with soul. Find me a franchise that does that.

I know, I know. That's not the point of franchise joints. That food is designed to be soul-less. Standardized. Cookie cutter. One-size-fits-all. Slap Patty A on Grill B and fry 28.9 seconds. Multiply formula by a million bored teenage "fryistas."

John Steinbeck predicted the mushrooming of these fryistas back in the 1960s. When he wrote Travels with Charley, after cruising around the country in a custom-built camper truck, he found a blandifying trend in roadside eateries. The food was starting to taste all alike, look all alike. And, most alarming, it was all starting to taste like the plastic in which it was wrapped.

Don't get me wrong. I ain't a snob. I've dabbled in the dark art of the drive-through pig-out. But, trust me. Dining A La Cart is tastier, more fun, and better for you. And, you're putting your money in the hands of a small business, rather than feeding a gaping corporate cash register. When you're in Portland, check out the food carts. And, be on the lookout close to home, too. There's bound to be fine dining a la cart somewhere near you.